Victimology

We have to be mindful and careful how we interact with others. Not everyone wants to talk about what is bothering them and on the other hand those who want to address an issue might not always have a listening ear on the other end. This can cause problems. For example, I had a certain way I felt and wanted to bring it up to the other person and hopefully talk about the issue like adults. I stated I felt a certain way and something had been bothering me. Instead of getting a calm response as an adult would give someone, I got name calling, "screaming" in a text, and hate. This was not my intention. The other factor I noticed was that this person said I always try and find things to start problems. Why did the person think this? My experience is that when  you have an issue you try and talk about it. That is what I was taught by my parents. Not only that but as an adult you just know that in order to handle situations we must talk about them. So while I am sitting there thinking WOW, when I want to bring up my feelings to this person or try and talk about issues that bother me or the way I feel, this person takes that and twists their ideas of me. I am coming to a situation and saying I want to talk about this because it is bothering me. The other person is immediately defensive and pointing fingers that I am trying to start something, when clearly that is not my intention. Why do people act this way? I immediately think back to yesterdays post....

When people pick on someone they are usually jealous of them or their life for some reason. I like to think of this as a form of victimology. This victimology can and will most likely lead to other things such as bullying.

Victimology -

1. • the possession of an outlook, arising from real or imagined victimization, that seems to glorify and indulge the state of being a victim.

   
   

So how does victimology tie in to the above paragraph? If the person you are trying to connect with feels intimidated by you, or jealousy towards you, they will immediately try and play victim. They will try and turn the conversation into attacking you, so that they can play victim. A lot of times they will bring up things they have inside about you that they will not get to the bottom of. Adults in this case will sit down and talk about what is going on. Unless this person has childish ways that is what most adults will do. Family most of the times will sit down and talk about what is bothering them. People might be "family" yet they have no intention of loving or accepting everyone. Especially those who come into "their" family through marriage, etc. It is sad that the outsider will become a victim of bullying because they do not make the bully of a certain group or family happy. If you do not meet the standards of someone who has a bullying mentality then you will most likely be the target.  

So take a step back. I have learned that I have to wipe my hands clean of people like this. There is always room to give more chances, but there is a point when you have to stop giving chances because the situation is obviously futile. You have to step away until the other group or persons can become that like minded adult and stop the negative attacking. Sometimes though when you are dealing with an irrational person or people, there will never be a point when things are fixed or dealt with and you have to let go and move on or you will just become depressed about the situation that you are unable to fix. 

Introduction to Bullying

It has been a while since my last entry. A lot has happened since I wrote last. I was writing about my MS journey, some DIY projects etc., but I want to focus on something that I feel will make an impact. There is a lot of bullying going on around the world. I was never bullied as a child, but now that I am older, I have been on the bad end of the bullying issue.

According to Meriam Webster, a bully is someone who is habitually cruel, insulting, or threatening to others. I have been bullied as an adult. Emotional, mental, and physical abuse is also bullying. Strangers will bully you, but so will people who you consider or are family. Know the signs and when to step away.

I was threatened by someone I considered family and called evil etc by them....this is a form of bullying. I had forgiven the person and decided to let it go even though they never offered an apology for the threat. The best option in this situation would be to get far away from those who are causing mental, physical, and emotional abuse to you. It does make it hard when it is a close person, but you are more important. Your life is more important than to let them try and hurt you in whatever way they feel they can. They will continue to see the bad in your good. People who are hurting or jealous tend to hurt others. My dad said it best. "The others around the relationship don't matter in the long run. If it is you and your spouse, then focus on you 2.....not anyone else's negativity towards you. What matters is your happiness and your spouses happiness, TOGETHER."

Write down a list of the good things about yourself. Do something you love. Find some sort of therapy. I know I am not evil because the Lord made me and He made you!

Matthew 5:11 God blesses you when people mock you and persecute you and lie about you and say all sorts of evil things against you because you are my followers.

A Plant Tip

It's time to plant bright colors and gardens as the winters harshness is now in our past. If your into recycling and reusing, this is a great idea to help save the planet, and put some extra cash in your pocket!

We have some large planters that we have decided to put these beautiful pink roses in.

To save money on soil we have reused some empty plastic bottles, and filled up the planters about half way. Now add your soil and other products that you might want to use.










The plastic bottles help to not only save money and recycle(reuse), but they also make the bigger planters not so heavy so that you can move them around more often!

This all was Blake's idea, what an earth friendly man!

WILL UPDATE SOON.

We are recording a lot, i will start updating on progress! Hopefully have some stuff up and lots of concerts this summer!

A Cowboy named Eddie.

In my most recent blog I took a picture of one of the spaces above our bed. In the space was this painting of a cowboy that we found when we moved in. (The house we moved into belonged to Blake's grandparents.)

Come to find out, this was not just a random person, this picture is of Blake's dads brother, Eddie, who died when he was around 18. We thought it was really neat how we found this.

A couple weeks later, I was cleaning out more places in the house and came across this picture...As you can see, it is the actual photograph taken years ago that the painting was copied from. I really have no idea who painted it, and the back of the picture reads some company in Healdton, Oklahoma that does not exist anymore.

Look at the people in the background, they are not protected by a gate at all, the painting has a gate around the arena.











My brother Josh's girlfriend's father does really awesome things with pictures, and I had him make 3 of these tile pictures for Blake's dad and his uncles. Something that they can remember their brother by who unfortunately left them all so early. They are pretty big, and they put the old pieces of wood around them as the frame, rustic. Love it!

So wonderful we came across these, here is the website were you can reach Mr. Fuller to get some neat things made from your pics, even these awesome wall mount tiled pics like we got.

http://www.fullerprints.com/

Green and Unique Decorating

I love old photo frames. This is one of my uses that I have had hanging up forever that I just wanted to show. Found this old frame about 5 years or so ago and I painted it. Then I bought the 2 peace sign hooks at a local shop, and just hung them up and then put the frame around them. So cute.

Another thing I love doing is putting random objects together on a wall. Like the walls above our bed.  Its fun to stagger, and put things that are of different colors, fabrics, styles together and make it your own. Pictures mix well in too with this kind of showcase! As you can see I have 2 paintings there as well. So be creative and who cares what you hang up, its your space and your style!

Good news.

It has been a long time since I have written. I am a busy person. My 1 year MRI follow up for the medicine I am taking for my Multiple Sclerosis showed positive notes. It read that the disease was currently inactive. Amen. Thank you God. I knew He had my back, He always does.

I was emailed an article about a doctor who had MS. She became confined to her wheelchair and had to use two canes to get to the bathroom. She decided she needed to find a way to be better. She did a lot of research and found that people with MS have a need for certain Vitamins, and she started taking them, and eating a raw food diet. She reversed her MS in 9 months and now she is able to ride a bike and is very active. So with that being said. I have decided to do the same. I have bought Fish Oil,  Vitamin B Complex, Vitamin D, which my doctor had already told me I needed to take, Lecithin, which I have been taking already also, because I read in a book about MS that it was good for me. The truth is, if people would just start eating like our ancestors did before fast food, processed foods, etc, disease would be less and health would be more. I am also giving my son 1000 u of Vitamin D a day. It was recommended since I have MS. Keep him from possibly EVER acquiring this disease.